XOXO

Oh my wishes pls come true.

2009-11-15T19:00:00.002+10:00

All I want for Xmas & Xmas eve:

1) BlackBerry Bold 9700.
2) MacBook Pro 13-inch.
3) A new drum set.
4) A visit to Old Trafford.
5) The classic Chanel bag. (haa yea rite)

Dah la tu.
heeee :D

We are only Human

2009-11-13T19:42:00.003+10:00

Some things are beyond planning.
And life doesn't always turn out as planned.
You don't plan for a broken heart.
You don't plan for an autistic child.
You don't plan for spinsterhood.
You don't plan for a lump in your breast.

You plan to be young forever.
You plan to climb the corporate ladder.
You plan to be rich and powerful.
You plan to be acclaimed and successful.
You plan to conquer the universe.
You plan to fall in love - and be loved forever.

You don't plan to be sad.
You don't plan to be hurt.
You don't plan to be broke.
You don't plan to be betrayed.
You don't plan to be alone in this world.
You plan to be happy.
You don't plan to be shattered .

Sometimes if you work hard enough, you can get what you want. But MOST
times, what you want and what you get are two different things.

Sometimes, Allah breaks our spirit to save our soul.
Sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole.
Sometimes, He allows pain so we can be stronger.
Sometimes, Allah sends us failure so we can be humble.
Sometimes, He allows illness so we can take better care of ourselves.
And sometimes, Allah takes everything away from us so we can learn the
value of everything He gave us

Make plans, but understand that we live by Allah's grace.

We are ordinary after all...

2009-11-09T23:22:00.002+10:00

im in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
It seems like we argue everyday

I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
This time we'll take it slow
This time we'll take it slow

This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
Then we head back to hell again
We kiss then we make up on the way

I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
As our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
This time we'll take it slow
This time we'll take it slow

Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,
maybe you'll return
Maybe another fight
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
We never know baby you and I

At this hour:11.29am

2009-11-03T11:29:00.001+10:00

I dont want to be at the state where I'm scared to love.
That's the worst thing that could happen.

crazier

2009-10-04T00:53:00.003+10:00

I'd never gone with the wind
Just let it flow
Let it take me where it wants to go to
You open the door
There's so much more
I've never seen it before
I was trying to fly
But I couldn't find wings
But you came along and you changed everything

You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I am lost in your eyes
You make me crazier, crazier, crazier

I've watched from a distance as you made life your own
Every sky was your own kind of blue
And I wanted to know how that would feel
And you made it so real
You showed me something that I couldn't see
You opened my eyes
And you made me believe

Baby you showed me what living is for
I don't wanna hide anymore

You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm fallin' and I am lost in your eyes
You make me crazier, crazier, crazier
Crazier, crazier, crazier

2009-09-04T12:51:00.003+10:00

A friend once said: "One of the challenges in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences and mistakes, and still love you with everything they've got."

It aint easy. Especially when you still believe everyone is hopelessly romantic and look at it like you do. Is it just me? How is it suppose to be? I talked too much. At times I wish I dont need words to let them all out. Wish I have some kind of super power to understand and to know all...

Maybe I should stop...

It's not a perfect song but it explains part of sometimes

2009-09-03T02:02:00.002+10:00

I looked away
Then I look back at you
You try to say
The things that you can't undo
If I had my way
I'd never get over you
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through

Make it through the fall
Make it through it all

And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Cuz I'm in Love With you

You're the only one,
I'd be with till the end
When I come undone
You bring me back again
Back under the stars
Back into your arms

Wanna know who you are
Wanna know where to start
I wanna know what this means

Wanna know how you feel
Wanna know what is real
I wanna know everything, everything

I'm in love with you
Cuz i'm in love with you
I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you

Fallin' for You by Colbie Caillat

2009-08-23T02:31:00.000+10:00

I don’t know but
I think I maybe
Fallin’ for you
Dropping so quickly
Maybe I should
Keep this to myself
Waiting ’til I
Know you better

I am trying
Not to tell you
But I want to
I’m scared of what you’ll say
So I’m hiding what I’m feeling
But I’m tired of
Holding this inside my head

I’ve been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’ve been waiting all my life
and now I found ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’m fallin’ for you

As I’m standing here
And you hold my hand
Pull me towards you
And we start to dance
All around us
I see nobody
Here in silence
It’s just you and me

I’m trying
Not to tell you
But I want to
I’m scared of what you’ll say
So I’m hiding what I’m feeling
But I’m tired of
Holding this inside my head

Oh I just can’t take it
My heart is racing
The emotions keep spinning out

I can’t stop thinking about it
I want you all around me
And now I just can’t hide it
I think I’m fallin’ for you (x2)

I’m fallin’ for you

Ooohhh
Oh no no
Oooooohhh
Oh I’m fallin’ for you

Bang Bang

2009-08-01T00:34:00.003+10:00

When I sniff that perfume,

When "I'll be" is playing on my iTunes,

When I walk pass by that street,

When I hug that little teddy,

When I pass by that cafe,

When I think about Dominos cheesy garlic bread,

When I listen to all your fav songs (at least used to be),

When I play Minesweeper flags,

When I watch football,

When I laugh,

or when I cry,

When Im happy,

or sad,

When at times I feel so vulnerable and weak,

When I look at myself in the mirror,

When everything is falling apart,

I go right back to you.

Speechless

2009-07-09T02:41:00.003+10:00

Some things there's no words can explain how it feels or how it works,

Sometimes you just have to feel it.

Now I understand when they say, "you just know it".

I think I am at that point, at the point where I just feel it.

Not knowing it yet for certain, but, I feel it. I understand.

I am at a better place. =)

Im very glad, lucky indeed.

It's a dog eat dog world out there

2009-06-15T18:11:00.002+10:00

Never I know species of the same kind can be so cruel and inhumane.

Just because you have the power and all the money in the world, it still doesn't change the fact that at the end of the day you are a human and a God's slave just like the rest of us.

Even a 21 year old like me understand the basic concept of a recession, i don't need an arrogant old fart like you to tell me that you did that all in the name of ECONOMY!

Regardless how harsh the reality is, the world doesn't need another pest like you to make it all real and worst for people like me who are still in the "bubble"!

You just full of crap, insensitive,selfish rich man!

I don't know. Part of me want to be the better person, and just learn from it. But now, at this point in time, I can't help it.

When you hurt a part of me, you will pay for it.

I wish karma will bite you back,bite you sooo hard till you regret every single decision you made.

Remember, you are old, you are living your life for your future generation. What comes around goes around.

If it's not you now who suffers, think about your children and your grandchildren.

Go to hell with your money and stupid resorts!

I hate you! All of you!

Inilah melayu tak sedar diri. Banyak harta, ada kuasa, lupa daratan! Tak semestinya dah tua wiser. Ada je yg bongok! Tak berperikemanusiaan!

2009-05-28T10:48:00.000+10:00

Stick with You

2009-05-21T22:04:00.005+10:00

To all my friends out there this song is for you peeps! :D

bye
see ya
one thing for sure "dont wanna be ya"
xoxo

Just about to live the dream.

2009-05-09T01:15:00.004+10:00

Good news, I've been accepted as an exchange student at The University of Manchester in their Semester 1 '09. *yay!* But (there's always one *sigh*) unfortunately there are a few cons that I have to consider. Okay, here they are:

PROS :
1) Hell yeah football! Theater of Dreams awaits.
2) It's a good Uni.
3) I've never been to Manchester yet. Maybe it's nothing much compared to London but let me remind you, Theater of Dreams awaits.
4) It would be nice to experience a different teaching and learning environment right?
5) I'll get to travel around the UK and Europe.
6) I would get the opportunity to give a good account of myself as a student from UQ (yeah right laili)

CONS (boooo) :
1) Unfortunately I can't do all my remaining courses in Manchester, apparently some of them are not equivalent to UQ courses.
2) And coz of that, I'm gonna have to come back here to finish up the last 2 courses.
3) To make things worst, those 2 remaining courses are only offered during the 2nd semester here in UQ.
4) Which means.... I'm gonna have to extend my graduation to the end of 2010 instead of the end of this year!
5) Apparently there are slight changes in the courses offered for '09/'10 year. So I might have to change some of the courses I planned to take there.

It's like mother nature itself is not letting me go!
Help meh! ( If you're in my situation, what would you do?) grrr

Monday ?!

2009-04-28T00:56:00.003+10:00

haiyo!Midsem this sat! Stress ooo... Four freaking topics in four days?! hrrmmm...I guess not much time.Stop facebooking, msning and wtv! Cant think of anything at the moment. It's freaking cold now and I can't stop eating.(babs!)
Ok time to go now.Since there's nothing much to write...

bye bye
take care
see ya "one thing for sure dont wanna be ya"
xoxo

There goes my weekend...

2009-04-26T21:13:00.004+10:00

Guess what peeps?! I joined the QSC thingy and I actually won something. I won gold medal for netball(very funny,I know) Oh well, it was more of my teammates efforts. without them,I would have lost. (I totally suck at sports! seriously) I would like to thank J,Z,A,D,B & S for everything. It was fun but I guess that will be the first and the last time for me to be part of it. Prefer staying outside the court/field. Just let me cheer for you peeps. I'm better at that because it's more relaxing and fun thing to do. Overall we did okay .(hehehe...=D) much better than being the last.(wink,wink). Ok enough said here. Got to get going peeps because I have a life!(lol)

bye
see ya
one thing for sure dont wanna be ya!
take care
xoxo

Love & Hate

2009-04-20T17:39:00.009+10:00

LOVE
There's lot of things to love in my world. My family, friends, my bfie(which I dont need to tell), bags, shoes, clothes and... oh gosh! Can't list them all. I obviously don't do sports but I love to dance. Dancing is what I like the most. When I dance, I can be who ever I want. I love to be me although I can be super annoying and bitchie at times. I have to agree that I am abit pickie in terms of everything. I do love to make new friends but I'm just not good at it. People tend to think I'm stuck-up(pssstt...I get that all the time) =p So nothing to be emo at. Well being me is not easy, Sometimes I'm just too tired of just being me.(I bet you dont get me). And I still don't know why. I guess only my family and friends that knows me well can "tahan" me. I can be the pain in the ass... hehehe Oh well, that's ME!
Thanks to these peeps and I love you peeps the most:- P,M,A,T,D,A,J,L,Z,E,A,G,Z,N,M,N,L,S,R,I,J,I, F& S.

HATE
Hate,hate, hate... Let me think?! I hate trying new things because I'm just too scared of failing. That's the main reason why I always stick to what I'm used to. I 100% hate cheater, sweet-talker, playboy, faker and can't list them all at one go.I hate reptiles and not really a big fan of animals. It's hard for me to hate people but once I hate you, that's it!(jk as long as you apologize, I'm alrite) hrrmmm... There's not much to hate actually. As long I dont get in people's way and vice versa, I'm totally fine!!!

Bye and I'm out of here.
take care
see ya and one thing for sure don't wanna be ya!
xoxo

Got it all wrong

2009-04-18T16:35:00.003+10:00

I thought it was the last search. Thought it felt right. I guess at the end of the day it comes to me.. Maybe, its just me. Desperately wanted and hoping to find the one who adores me, who wants to be part of my life as much as I want to be part of theirs. But the thing I tend to forget that, not everyone is like me. Or is it just karma getitng back at me? I Pushed away those who genuinely wants to be here, and now in return, the one I genuinely dont want to let go will be taken away from me?

But then again, It is not wrong to know what u want. I got carried away that I accepted the unacceptable, ignore the obvious signs of the contrast. Somehow, deep down I'm scared. Scared of what might have been, scared that I might dissapoint the hopes of others. Scared of what others might think of me.

What went wrong? Maybe its just not meant to be. I can't be in it alone. .I see it.. I think I know what's next...But im just scared to say it...n I Think so do u...

Something to figure out

2009-04-17T16:01:00.002+10:00

You thought you have everything planned and going well on track. But the truth is, I don't know what I know anymore. I always thought If I have everything figured out, then everything will be fine. But then again, they were all myths that I made myself to believe. I think for once, I have to let time and fate decide the course of love and life. Go with the flow, let things happen. Without much force and pressure. For once, live it as it is. Feel it as it touches you. Savour it as it happens.

And yes, We dont know what is in for us in the future. I guess now I know what you were trying to tell me. I'm not perfect nor the one. I'm slowly to understand, pretending that things are the way I want it to be when they are clearly not, wont help.

Im still trying to learn and understand all these. Me, you, us... It's not a bad thing. I guess, it's just another part of my "self-discovery" thing to do. At this age, it's so naive of me to think that I have everything figured out, certain about everything. When the fact is, I know somehow deep inside of me, I'm still lost, still ignoring some obvious signs which point to my insecurities and uncertainties.

Something to figure out....

Life in technicolor ba

2009-03-26T12:19:00.004+10:00

I did what I had to do. Or else I'll be lying to him and to myself.
I gave my solid reasons, and if my heart's just not in it, why should I carry on?
It hurts hearing his bitter words, but Im staying strong and wont let 'em bring me down.
At least now I know I made the right decision.
Time is so short and Im pretty sure there must be something more for me out there.
Im keeping my head up high *cheers everyone*
:D

??????

2009-03-20T19:34:00.004+10:00

Control freak or not.... I dont know whats wrong of being thoughtful.... Is it just me that think too much about others, or is it normal to include ur other half in wutever u are doing...or am i just another FREAK??? sometimes I dont know what to do..why is it thinking about others seems so bad..I would feel good at first, then feel soo awfully shitty the next time when someone point it out that it is not a wise move!!!

Really, what do you want??!!!!
Tell me, because it seems like im such an idiot now!!

Strangest thing was waiting for that bell to ring.

2009-03-19T00:16:00.006+10:00

Hold on to it while you still can.
Dont let go.
Coz once you do, you'll miss it.
And you'll realize that you've been running in circles after all this while.

Aihh...I've been missing you a lot lately.
I wish that one day you would look my way.
Just a simple hello would put a smile on my face.
Yes it would.

Now Im just afraid to let someone new in.
Afraid that somehow I might, again, fall into that "trap" everyone's been bragging about.
It sucks to be me right now.
I know nobody said it was easy, but no one ever said it was this hard.

So the thing is, what am I supposed to hold on to now?
Could you tell me something worth fighting for?
Coz I'm completely blank at this moment...
Somehow I feel so alone..

Lais.

I'm Amazed

2009-03-17T23:41:00.002+10:00

I can be difficult at times... AS for now, all the time. Unpredictable mood swings - im sick of blaming it on PMS! I hate to admit it that I have been rather mean and irrational. To be the person taking them, and just put up with moody me, takes some kind of patience. It can't be just any guy. I know, that doesn't give me the right to treat you that way. You have to admit, that's not all to me there is. I mean, I am NOT the moody girl all through the time when we are together. There are more to me....more pleasant side of me.

I'm amaze and thankful that you are still here, accepting me at being the ugliest i can be.
And I love you for that...

I'm sorry.

"The Bubble"

2009-03-11T11:11:00.006+10:00

Was looking through some pictures of some people that I care dearly. I miss all of them n those old days when they were basically there day n night whenever I need someone to pick me up when my dreams were crushed, or just to share a silly joke with me. whenever I needed to see them all I had to do was just wait at the famous "tangga kejayaan" or locker area and there they were,waiting for me. It's odd, how back then I couldn't wait to step out of the bubble, and hoping time can just pass abit faster. Eager to see what lies ahead for me out here. Is not that I dont like it "here", it's just that it feels different. I guess it took me 4 years to realise, its them who make me feel complete. It sucks when they are not actually convinced that I care n they matter, when the truth is I will do anything for them. Since im far away, there's nothing much I can do,can't I?

But sometimes I just wish, its not a one way street. I wish I wasnt the only who needs to show the effort of keeping them close. And i also wish they wont come to me ONLY when trouble strikes them. Yes, I will still be here for u if trouble is ur current friend. but, it would be nice to just want me because you just want me. because you are thinking of me dearly.

I love you guys. All of you. I know, this is part of growing up. Part of life outside the "bubble". I get it. ..

Lost

2009-03-02T00:05:00.002+10:00

Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I will cross

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I've tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh and I'm just waiting for the shine wears off

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
Cause along may come
A bigger one
And you'll be lost

Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ooh and I'm just wanting till the firing starts
Ooh and I'm just waiting till the shine wears off

Ooh and I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh and I'm just waiting till the shine wears off

xoxo
love u peeps always
see ya one thing for sure "dont wanna be ya"

It's A Cycle and I'm Miss Sensitive...

2009-02-13T12:15:00.002+10:00

I know It's just how life goes...You have to deal with changes... I know everything takes time..I know you can't run away from the cycle of life...but it sucks to actually watch it happening and feeling helpless because you can't do anything about it. MAybe it's not big of a deal for some people, but me being the sensitive one feels like, if it's not big, at least it is a deal to me. It just feels weird in some ways.... Like for the first time it seems like I dont know them...that actually makes me feel that all these times I don't really belong there...

Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive about it... Maybe.... (due to the unstable hormones)
I know things will get better with time... I hope so...Things are all good at least that's how I want them to be...

Just giving it some time...

Besides facebooking...

2009-01-19T03:51:00.005+10:00

Ok it's been a while.... been busy guys, sorry :)
So as u know, summer holidays is about to end, and Im going back to Brissy soon.
What have I been doing for the past 2+months here? Here's the list:

1. I did 1 subject in HELP uni. Just finished the final exam yesterday. Well I admit I didnt study at all for the paper. I barely went to classes. So don't ask me how was it. It's official I cant study here, too much distractions!

2. Keeping myself fit (konon la) by going to the gym.

3. Futsal every week.

4. Netball twice a week.

5. Zuwairi :)

6. Darus/AC almost everyday.

7. Shopped a lot!

8. Tried something new in Bangsar. hehe quiet Zuls!

9. A bit of everything here and there.

10. And 1 more thing, Im going to Langkawi this Wed, with a few friends. Just a few days getaway from Subang before I leave. Hope it'll be fun!

Love,
Laili.

Another New Year Another Beginning

2009-01-07T16:44:00.002+10:00

My 2009... For starters (and which I feel is the BEST thing ever for now) NO MORE LDR for me in 2009 which is GREAT!!! Now I can share my days and mood swings closer to My Zekree... ( I bet Jerry,Ika, Tasia,Laili,Anas n G now be less bothered by me telling them how much I wish Zek was in Brisbane, I miss him..etc..huhuhuhu)

Mmm..I hope this year I will be able to do more travelling. Places Must TRY to go this year :-

1)Melbourne
2)Sydney
3)New Zealand
4) Cool places in Queensland

All in all..I hope 2009 will be better than 2008..hope I'll learn more about life... n try to be the best person I can be to myself, my family, my Zekree, my friends....

Here I come 2009... Watch out! :P

Just Crapping

2009-01-07T01:22:00.003+10:00

I'm so happy because gossip girl is back!!! And yeah, Chuck is still the pain in the ass but wtv! he is still the one that Im in love with.lol...Peeps watch it! Its only 40mins of your precious time. Ok this week episode, hrmmm...quite sad but you know GG, theres always ups and downs like any other tv series.
Going back to KL tommorow morning. Well I'll be arriving arnd 3ish KL time. (sigh). "KL HERE I COME!"
okla Im super tired and totally sleepy. hehehe...
nite nite!

see ya but one thing for sure dont wanna be ya
xoxo
take care

Conclusion of He's Just Not That Into You.

2009-01-04T13:41:00.005+10:00

Done, 做完, हो गया, sudah. I have finished reading the book last night. Seriously everthing do make sense once you have the clue. And to know what's the clue, you girls need to read THAT book!. I can bet you, after reading it, your perspective towards finding the ONE will be much much better. Im not saying that you dont have good taste in men or anything, the book its not about that actually. Its about how guys treating you like as if you dont deserve better. Excuses that they give to you,just to get away easily. So yeah want to know more do buy and read it.

I bet you all must think Im against men or something. The answer is NO. Im still straight and still in love with my beloved boyfriend Ed Westwick Its just when I read the book, its no fair for the girls out there. I mean girls are just too fragile creatures and dont deserve to be treated as if they are not important to the guys that they date. Why cant guys be honest about their feelings and why do they still pretend as if they care if the fact they dont?! Its just weird! Dont make things seem so complicated when it is not.

Like women, we just say it out loud when we dont like it. We make it easier for you (men) to understand us (women). We dont go around the bush to explain some simple thing. For example you (men) dont flirt with us (women) if you dont have any feelings or what so ever towards us (women). Simple as that. Another thing, dont give false hope if you already know that theres no hope. I must say thats totally stupid and selfish of you to do that kinda stuff. (sigh) Ok so thats about it. Im done lecturing!!!

good bye for now

see ya one thing for sure dont wanna be ya!

take care

xoxo

He's Just Not That Into You

2009-01-03T18:57:00.004+10:00

Lets fill you guys with my pathetic life. Its not that bad actually but I'm just exaggerating it. hehehe...Ok so I decided to go to the city today to buy the book that I always wanted "He's Just Not That Into You". The unbelievable thing is I actually went out although it was raining. I dont go out when its raining. That is just the thing I wouldn't do because I hate getting wet and its depressing. Call me princess or anything but I'm just being me. So yeah, I bought the book at last. I cant wait to start reading it. The voice in my head keeps on saying "come on, dont waste time! Let's just start reading it". Then I started to flip on the first page of the book and cant stop reading it till now. Everything that Greg wrote was superb. He tells us about how guys react, feel and etc. Its amazing he actually admit that "guys are not complicated but they tend to act complicated because they want the girls to perceived them that way". How pathetic is that?! The best part is I only read half the book and now most of the questions I have in my head its already been filled. Coolness!!! Seriously girls, buy the book and trust me on this. And if you curious with your relationship, trust Greg Behrendt because he has the answer to it.

Everything just make sense after reading the book although Im only half way through. I read the other book called "Its Just a Date". I loved it! Greg's book are so amazing!!! So peeps, I mean girls do buy his books.

see ya one thing for sure dont wanna be ya

take care

xoxo

2009

2009-01-02T22:07:00.004+10:00

It's 2009. A new year and hopefully a new me. hmmm nah...Im just the same. 2008 had been a pretty smooth year for me. I was single and living the life. Enjoyed every second of it. But hopefully 2009 will be better year for all of us. Firstly, if I get to go to Manchester in Aug, for a student exchange program, then I'll say in advance that this year will be the most awesome year EVER! yeap yeap! I just got an email from UQ saying that they approved my application, all I have to do is wait for the approval from Uni of Manchester itself *fingers crossed*.

ok gtg now, will update soon promise!
Toodles~

New Year

2009-01-02T20:27:00.000+10:00

Just Another Ride

2008-12-26T14:59:00.002+10:00

I have to agree with NJ.. "Cinta itu MEMANG susah".. YOu got that right NJ... Well, all I can say to comfort ourselves is that, nothing in life is easy.

Words, as they are.... Sometimes it's better to just dont say anything at all..
Actions which they say are louder than words... Sometimes aint enough to send the message across..

SOmetimes, I reckon, everyone of us wish that we all have some kind of power to read minds...in that case you are able to say the right words, to act just the way everyone wants you to be.

I know sometimes, I want it...

Lessons to Be Learn

2008-12-15T20:02:00.003+10:00

They say the journey of persuing real love is not easy... I am somehow with them on this. Good things need effort and sacrifises to have them and to make them work. Today, I learned a few things about being a better other half. I guess, If we keep sticking to old habits and doing things like in the old days, just because you are scared of being outside of your comfort zone, it doesnt mean you are right by being/doing things certain way like you did in the past. Therefore, I have to do my part, if I expect him to do the same...

Will definitely work on it...For your sake..For our sake...

2008-11-30T15:51:00.001+10:00

Would like to share this with you.
Lost by Coldplay.
Enjoy~

Robert Pattinson

2008-11-28T19:08:00.002+10:00

A new hotstuff from Twilight.
Droooollll :D

Oh and go watch the movie, I loved it.

Miss Independent

2008-11-27T13:09:00.002+10:00

Never I thought it is true..All the negativity I came up with in my head were all indeed true. The "things" which you only consider worst case scenarios are indeed not what IFs anymore, but instead they do really exist. I don't know what to do anymore. Just don't know how to act since all I've got are all been given away. I tried to understand , but it seems no matter how much I try it seems not enough. I thought I havent given enough, but so now I know it is too much.

I have to say, this is me being the best I can be. Believe it or not, this is the best I've ever been in giving and taking. In the past, it has always been my way, my feelings and my game with other of them. But for once when I try not to base this on me, it seems like none of these seem to be right. Some things I can understand why, but some are just too hard for me to swallow. No, its not that I want it to be my way, but I still don't understand how we can have different definitions of how we feel, when both of us want this soo bad...

or maybe after all its just a game..at this age, I must be insane to think that this is for real.. Then again, why not? Now, im wishing if only i can be that Miss Independent...

Yuhoooo....

2008-11-25T14:57:00.003+10:00

Yes I'm back...hahaha. After so long.
Sorry bout the emo post below, geram sgt ohh. hihi.
Oh well, I just arrived in Malaysia last Friday.
Ever since, been doing nothing much. Just started going to the gym.
Will be starting my summer school in HELP Uni next week.
I wonder how izzit like there, the lectures, tutes and of course the students there.
Takut pun ada. Hopefully I'll meet some nice friends.
Okayh then, will update u soon!

P/S: Coldplay is coming to Brisbane on the 8th and 9th of March. Who's in pls hit me back, coz
I'm buying the ticket this Thurs!

Why oohh why? Yes Im serious.

2008-11-25T14:05:00.009+10:00

What's with these ppl who always find something bad to talk about Ronaldo? Don't u have anything better to do?

Elano: "Cristiano Ronaldo scores big goals and does excellent exhibitions but for me I would choose Kaka as the world's number one."

Marcos Senna: “Now I think I over-rated his importance. When Cristiano does not score, his role is limited. Yes, he is fast, but countless step-overs are not necessarily productive. He is not a complete player like Ronaldinho in the good times.”

What do u expect? Him to score every game? Is that what ure doing? Is that what KAKA and RONALDINHO is doing? Who are u to define who he is? He's not perfect, but he's definitely in a different class than all of u.

Did any of u win all of these in the last couple of seasons ( I mean all of it at once! ):

FIFPro World Player of the Year
FIFPro World XI
PFA Player of the Year
PFA Fans’ Player of the Year
PFA Premier League Team of the Year
Football Writers' Association Player of the Year
European Golden Shoe
Sir Matt Busby Player of the Year
United Players' Player of the Year
United Goal of the Season (v Portsmouth)
Barclays Player of the Season
Barclays Golden Boot
Barclays Merit Prize
UEFA Club Player of the Year
UEFA Best Forward

No? Well he did not get all these for nothing right? Apart from all your criticisms, he is still being Cristiano Ronaldo, always with outstanding determination, great enthusiasm. He is a target for fans and critics, but thats not a problem, he's gonna keep going whether you like or NOT.

Fergie: "I wonder how many people take it when you are walking down the street and so many people hit you over the head with a baton?" Its that bad. What a shame to all of you.

However, Liverpool star striker, Fernando Torres, had sort of jumped to defence of Ronaldo by saying "No-one can rival him. He is in a class of his own. I have never seen a comparable player. For me he is the best player in the world. A machine. Incomparable." You got that right Mr Torres!

Hot bah mamat ni..hubba hubba!

Self-respect girls!!

2008-11-22T18:16:00.003+10:00

I am sooo angry when boyfriends become soooo overly possessive! To the extent that hanging out with their girlfriends is a CRIME!! WUT THE HELL!!! First, I'm very angry at the GIRL for not standing up for her RIGHTS and let this GUY to run HER life! Wut the hell, you ain't anyone's property! Ni baru in a relationship lagi, belum lagi married! What on earth is wrong with some girls today? Letting those kind of man boss them around and let him decide what they can and cant do? This is bullshit man. Second, those chauvinist men should learn how to treat women right. Who do they think they are??? (THank GOD not ALL men are like that) The bottom line is, we girls have to have some dignity, some self-respect. I know everything is all for the sake of LOVE. But hey, don't because of LOVE we lose our sanity! PLEASE LA...

Serious sedih.. I wish I can do something...But then again, it's all up to them..bila dah sayang tu, warna hitam pun kata putih... *sigh*

You just know it..

2008-11-21T01:12:00.003+10:00

Well, I admit, getting here wasnt easy. Meeting different people along the way was a bitter sweet journey. I did at one point was ashame with how I treated relationships as a try-an-error thing. Along the journey of having the real feeling for the right person was not easy to seperate infatuations and love.

The best thing happens when you least expect it. I found mine when I thought it was impossible to happen. Sometimes, I still pinch myself, and wonder that this is too good to be true. But, hey, I can't complaint. As this is more than I can imagine and the best so far. When you just know it, and it makes you feel right..it just makes you a better person. You will be able to bring out the best of each other. I guess that's what being in a relationship is all about- "Not to find the perfection in the other half, but to complement their imperfections in order to become a better lover and friend."

I had a great day today with him. I know this might sound a bit cliche, but when I'm with him, I feel like I'm complete. I dont know how to express what/how I feel right now in words. But, I can feel it. I know what I'm feeling. I know, still have a very long way to go. Still have many more steps to take many more fights to come. And definitely, very much more love to give. =) I want this, I really want this. For once, this is NOT just another summer love. This is for real. It's real people. Trust me, I'll fight for this.

That's what I will do.. Like Jason Mraz said sayang, " Being with you is a bless". It is indeed. Bless to be loved by you. To be your Baby Girl...

I love you.

Super human

2008-11-05T12:51:00.003+10:00

Weak
I have been crying and crying for weeks
How'd I survive when I can barely speak,
Barely eat...On my knees

But that's the moment you came to me
I don't know what your love has done to me
Think I'm invincible..
you see Through the me
I used to be

You changed my whole life
Don't know what your doing to me with your love
I'm feeling all Super human
You did that to me
Super human heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you

Strong
Since I've been flying and righting the wrongs
Feels almost like i had it all along
I can see tomorrow
But every problem is gone because I flew everywhere with love inside of me
It's unbelievable to see
How love could set me free

Its not a bird Not a plane
Its my heart and its gonna go away
My only weakness is you
Only reason is you
Every minute with you I feel like I can do Anything
Going going I'm going away In love
You changed my whole life
Don't know what your doing to me with your loveI
'm feeling all Super human
You did that to me Super human heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you, superhuman

p/s: Love it! Love Chris Brown! Love Zekree! =P

Just another entry

2008-11-01T15:59:00.002+10:00

I just feel right. For now. and I hope it will feel right for as long as it can be. That's what I told her. That's what I told myself. Aint easy to feel that way. Now I know. I know it is still early..but thats just how I feel. Then yet, life is uncertain. We can only try our best to make things work, but at the end of the day, it's Him who has the last say.

Meant to be or not, either way, I'm just grateful. I'm happy. And like she said, don't mess it up if it's worth keeping...

Mmmm... definitely a keeper.

=)

p/s: Stress finally caught up with me last night! Hate u!

Let's count the days

2008-10-19T03:49:00.003+10:00

The most stressful period of every semester - Final Exam Week. 2 more weeks to go..Soo many things to do... I can't wait to get everything over n done with.. Just cant wait to be home....

Four more tuesdays sayang...
Can't wait...

=)

Something Serious..

2008-09-18T21:54:00.002+10:00

Well, peeps...you are wrong when you think that ALL i can write about is the dramatic side of my life. At this instance, I would like to express my thoughts on something rather "serious".The political chaos back in Malaysia has everyone talking about politics. It rather has an impact on everyone including me. Growing up, politics never really interest me. As I see politics as superficial and selfish in soo many way, though I can't deny some aspects of politics are needed to get a country going. Since everyone has many opinions about it, so do I.

1) It is sad that things have to be UGLY first before people start caring about the things happening in the country.

2) Malaysia is not political mature yet to be very outspoken about the differences of parties like in the western world.As in Malaysia, they tend to prove who is WRONG n RIGHT rather than having dynamic solutions (the best solution) to better outcomes for the country. If you see Australia for example, the way they debate politically is waaayyy mature than the ministers in Malaysia do.

3) Politic IS corrupted by nature. No matter how good a leader is they will never run from telling A lie (even normal human being to tell lies at one point in their life! ) Therefore, no such thing as ZERO corruption to whoever believe that THEY are standing up for the righths of the people.

4) I'm not saying NO to a positive change for the country. I believe the opposition leader is a wise man, (hope can have better economic condition for Malaysia) but it seems rather sad that the country has to go through this kind of chaos all in the name of POLITIC just to prove their side of stories.

Now, everyone is wondering, anxiously waiting, what the future holds for Malaysia's Politic. All i'm hoping for is that Malaysia will continue to develop instead of falling back due to all this political mess. Whoever rule the country, hope they will keep in mind that its all about the people, not THEM!

#I hope I am making some sense.. LOL..as IM not the best person to talk about politics with, but yeah, at least those are what I have to say about it. =P

Understood

2008-09-15T01:32:00.002+10:00

Growing up...I've always been told, "only go for those who love you more than you love them"...They believe by living up to this ideology you will never get hurt. Well, I used to think this a foolish thought. I'm a strong believer of treat others like you want to be treated. It applies to EVERYTHING in life. Applies to relationship as well. The reason why i never stand by the idea of only be with someone who loves u more than u love him is because, when you decide to give your love to someone, it is not a game of who gives more. You just give wutever you have.It suppose to be natural. Doesnt need reasons behind every act of love you do. Dont need to justify wut u need or not need to do. You just feel it. I never thought in relationship there would ever be an issue of who loves who more in a relationship, one thing means more to one person than the other. I thought we are in it together...arent we suppose to want the same thing?

Well, I guess I'm wrong...All those things do matter after all... Wake up Emilia Ilyana...Life,love and heartbreak are not fairytales..they are all real... It can either build you or break you..

Never like this

2008-09-13T16:36:00.003+10:00

Not in the mood. Everything is coming to me all at once.. I wish I can control them but I cant. Everything just seems so wrong no matter what I do. Im stress, depress and just wish all of these would just goooo awaaayyyyy!!! Enough already.... Give me back my sanity and peace of mind. Tell me that Im at least doing something right.. anything. God! I miss ME... Havent feel good being myself lately..Wut's up with that? Where on earth is Emilia Ilyana? All i feel like doing is stay in bed till she gets back and being the normal happy thankful soul.

God, just hate it!

Something to laugh about !

2008-09-10T23:25:00.005+10:00

I just discovered how deliciously tasteful Subway is. Ive only eaten subway like once and I didnt like it. Tapi tadi I tried again and wow it is not that bad after all. haha. U may think Im so kuno right now! I know! but wtv, it is soooo sedapppp. Next on my list: Craving for t-bone steak at 1001 Nights.

Pretty Awesome!

2008-09-10T02:16:00.004+10:00

Before and After pic of My Big Giant Cookies.

This is the coolest thing I ever made in my entire life.Well I love it and I dont want to eat it but I know that I have too someday.(sigh)

I LOVE U MY BIG GIANT COOKIES!!!

p/s: see ya one thing for sure dont wanna be ya!

muahx

xoxo

Monday Blues

2008-09-08T11:08:00.004+10:00

I couldnt sleep last night. I hate it. I hate when I can't sleep.. Obvious sign something was on my mind. People often tell me that I think alot...Well, I can't help it. I thought distance will make the heart grow fonder, not turn you into a bad partner. I never understand the term loving someone too much, but now I think I do. and guess what? It sucks! You are obsessed of doing the right things all the time till you ending up doing all the wrong things as a result. Is there anything to do with expectations? Its all about expectations huh? Affraid that you are not good enough, dont love him enough..etc.. Well, I dont have a clue about your past, so do you about mine. I dont know how they made you happy and loved you in the past. All I know, this is how I love you.. Perhaps, its the only way I know how to... I have my ways and I didnt know my ways would hurt you this bad. I hate being away from you and I hate it even more when we have to go through this when we are thousand miles away. I know it aint easy, but I'm trying..mmm..I thought you should know by now that all I meant to show you is love..nothing else..

I'm sorry...

-B-

-----

2008-09-06T21:37:00.004+10:00

I know I should retreat. But do you feel me?
hugs O.O

Its stuck in my head.

2008-08-31T15:11:00.002+10:00

Nice song..peaceful and calm.
Enjoy it guys!

No place like home~

2008-08-24T23:18:00.007+10:00

Happy Birthday Abah <3

Oh goooddd, cant wait to go back for raya :DD

Wrong or Right

2008-08-21T15:53:00.002+10:00

#This post in a way, inspried by Laili's post. =P #

You know how we always say as we grow up we somhow know the difference between the rights and the wrongs? Well, If you think about it again, we would never know EXACTLY what is wrong and what is right. People might think they know you and know why you do certain things certain way, but the truth is they have no idea how you are doing or feel. Its not wrong to be vulnerable at times, to let your guards down and share your emotions. Being an emotional and expressive person myself, most of the time, When I pour my heart out whenever im feeling down..its really comforting... I guess, that's why God created Eve for Adam, so that he wont be all alone in this world. I'm glad that I'm not alone. Thankful that I have many wonderful souls in my life that I can rely on when the times get rough. =)

Hey, eventhough we would never know or have the perfect answers to everything in life, but the least we can do is be as wise as possible through this journey of life. We can never hide from feeling guilty, betrayed, loved...as all those after all are part of being human...part of life. Eventually we will get through it...I'm sure we will...

It's a random post, read it if u must.

2008-08-21T12:31:00.003+10:00

I’ve come to realize that what you do, what you decide, what you believe and desire, are your own choices. You choose to love, hate, care, stay, leave etc. You strive to achieve for what is significant to you. As for me, I choose to be wise and well-read. I choose to lead a healthy life. I choose to act responsibly. I choose to be childish but sane at the same time. You know what I mean? But of coz at some point I might stumble, coz it’s possible for anyone to be vulnerable given any situation. However, these experiences are what guiding me through this pretty hectic journey, or should I say a tough one? Nah..I believe it is rather cruel. It’s filled with artificial heartless shallow-minded human beings. So how could it not be cruel huh? It is utterly flawed! There will always be people who are self-centred, ungrateful and just plain mean.

So recently, someone asked me, “How are you?” My answer was “I’m doing fine”. Actually I meant to say to you that I’m doing soooo fine, great in fact. I meant to tell you to stop asking me how I am doing coz I’m sick of it. You know when you always say you didn’t mean to hurt me and you regret yadayadayada…just stop it. Whatever you did was your choice and there’s nothing that you can do that could possibly erase all of it. I can’t and won’t be that person you knew few years ago. People are constantly changing, but it seems like you aren’t. I refused to move on at first, but now I’m completely over it. My life has been more carefree, stress-free, and absolutely tearless (is that even a word?). Anyway, this change has added more colours into my life, and I wish for it to stay that way. You already caused too much mess, it couldn’t get any worst than that, what I went through. You my dear had given me extra strength and courage to be where I am now.

I choose to be alone coz trusting someone new isn’t easy. Interest is there, but I’ll pass for now. Until I am ready to get involve again, I guess, then, I’ll have a different perspective (+ve one I hope) on relationships. But it doesn’t mean that I’m losing faith in love. After all love will always be the guiding force in our lives. It makes the world go round ain’t it? Hahaha...you love birds out there should know how it feels.

Well, my 2^nd para was actually my whole point of this post. I got carried away. It’s mainly about choices. Just to say that you chose to leave, so pls don’t look back. I don’t want you to.

I've never written things like this before, so there you go, this is as personal as I could get.

Addicted to you!

2008-08-18T00:45:00.002+10:00

Well, for the past week, have been keeping up with the actions in the Water Cube in Beijing! Damn, Michael Phelps is just sooo darn fine! =P Winning 8 Golds in an Olympic beating Spitz's 36 years old record for most gold medals won in a single olympic, nothing can be more sexier than that! =) haih...Yup people, he is my crush for the season... =P (Still love you sayang! always! huhuhu) You guys should have watched him doing the thing he does best-making waves in the pool. He is just amazing... Looking forward to see more of him in the future! Also not forgetting, Well done to Grant Hackett too..Eventhough he didnt win the Gold to set the record to be the only swimmer to win the 1500m event 3 times in a row in olympic games, you are still the greatest long distance swimmer Hackett! Good job!

Mmmm...other than Olympics, same old thing for me...Uni and stuff, can't wait to go back for summer though...this long distance relationship thing kills me! Hate being away from him.. but hey, I know this is all worth it.. =) Missing him every single day..

Love you... =)

16th August

2008-08-16T08:47:00.004+10:00

Happy 18th Birthday Amir~!

My brother has grown so big...

Long awaited

2008-08-13T16:01:00.007+10:00

Now there's something else to look forward to, besides this weekend. TV series! Been waiting for Gossip Girl (s2), One Tree Hill (s6) and Grey's Anatomy(s5). Quick recaps of last episodes:

Gossip Girl: Basically Upper East Side's social event of the year was Lily and Bart's wedding. But most of all, with the exit of Georgina Sparks (hopefully), will Serena and Dan be able to save their relationship? Or will they fall back for their former "lover". On the other hand, after finally confessed their love for one another, Chuck realized that he may not wanna give up his usual lifestyle, leaving Blair waiting for him by his helicopter.

One Tree Hill: Simple, who did Lucas called? Not Lindsey I hope!

Grey's: Derek looked for Meredith everywhere and then found her on his patch of land, with candles outlined where their house will be. Then they made up. Awww..

Yes yes people be patient! Gossip Girl and OTH will be out on the 1st of Sept while Grey's will be on the 25th Sept. Can't wait to watch those privileged prep school teens on Manhattan's Upper East Side, Nathan Scott, and the hot doctors of Seattle Grace Hospital :D

What's everything to you?

2008-08-07T00:01:00.002+10:00

Everyday, you'll come across different thoughts, different behaviours, different personalities, different potentials..etc... Never a day that you just go, BLANK. For me,that is. The slightest gesture or ideas that people have can really capture my interest, making me wonder how or why he/she behaves such way, or how does he/she know soo much about the world.

Intellectual. A word/trait which I inspire to have since the first time I got to know its meaning. Being away from home and having the opportunity to study overseas, I am able to experience being surrounded by intellectual individuals who seems to know EVERYTHING, and have opinions on matters which we average Joes (that includes me) care less to think about e.g global issues- global warming, food scarcities etc. I really envy those people who can quote famous economist about a theory or tell the whole class about the facts of a particular economic crisis. Sometimes I wonder, is that what it takes to be a future economist? You have to know everything about the world? Do I have what it takes? I know I love the course, and thank God I'm studying economics rather than studying human jaw and teeth... (initially I wanted to study dentistry..=P )...

*sigh*

Today, someone said " Know everything about something, and know something about everything." He said, he knows everything (so into) economics, but know something (not too much,just sufficient) about everything else around him (computers, politics etc..)

Then, it hits me, What do I know everything about? and Do I know something about everything else around me? Or am I just too ignorant? I think it's time to ponder....

Chesty mucus cough

2008-08-02T01:30:00.008+10:00

As I was lying on my bed today, with nothing to do, made me wonder how tedious my days are lately. Eat, tv, online, and sleep. Having so much of catching up to do, I cant seem to get myself together to actually start studying. Readings, questions, lots to be done, along with quizzes and exams coming soon. Haiyooh, mati la like this. I've been promising to myself to work harder this semester and to start early, but if this is my initial work, then I'm screwed.

Apart from doing nothing (what I meant by doing nothing was actually not doing my work like I'm supposed to), I've been reading story books; Jenny Downham: Before I Die, Bridget Curran: the Miracles of Mary, and Khaled Hosseini: The Kite Runner. Yes 3 books at the same time. To also kill time, the internet duh~. So as I was browsing for new and more interesting news to read, I came across this headline; Ronaldo: "I'm Joining Madrid Next Week". And this too; Ferguson: "If Ronaldo leaves, so will I". Astonishing? very indeed. That, ppl, just added up to my already gloomy day. What the heck are these ppl thinking?? I have no clue.

After a while of staring at the ceiling, finally someone called and asked if we wanted to go and send Nana to the airport. Nana went back home for good. All of us were there to witness her departure. Pretty moving when she started crying, awwww. We'll surely miss you Nana! Thanks for everything and minta maaf kalau ada salah dan silap :)

So when I got back, after watching something on tv, I went straight to bed. Hoping that I would get some sleep. But when I turned right facing the wall, there was him standing tall dribbling the ball. So, the news I read earlier today, came rushing back and kept me awake. Me being resentful about this whole thing, I jumped out of bed, to my study table, and here I am writing this post, hoping that it would, in any way, ease my frustration. Well it helped a bit. But still?! *sigh*
Then I closed all my tabs, except for this, with nothing more to write, Im publishing it. Hope you'll enjoy it as Im not.

Short tribute to you Mr.Carrick.

2008-07-22T23:23:00.005+10:00

Birthdate:	28 Jul 1981
Birthplace:	Wallsend, North Shields
Position:	Midfielder
Appearances:	101
Goals:	8
Joined United:	31 Aug 2006
United Debut:	23 Aug 2006 v Charlton (A)
International:	England

Michael Carrick, one of English football's most sophisticated and classy passing midfielders. He may only have scored 3 goals in 2007/2008, but his all-round contribution to the club through out his stay was, I shall say, outstanding. Yes, he is an unsung hero indeed. I have to admit, it's true. And most importantly, he has United at heart.

Because of you

2008-07-22T12:20:00.004+10:00

For me to feel this way, it must mean something. I havent felt this way for a very long time. Yeah, you guys might be wondering, wut's up with my previous relationship. Well, all I can say is with the past relationship, it didn't feel rite as how I'm feeling about my current relationship with him.

Just got back from sending my sayang off..I hate saying goodbyes.. The past 3 weeks were great. Finally I got to be with him. Everything made complete sense , me and him ,our relationship. Everything. I'm glad to find this love at the most unecpexted place and time of my life. This is definitely something I would want to hold on to for a very long time. I hope so...I really do.

Adjusting back to normal mood would be the toughest part. My room seems more empty without him and his stuff. His luggage at one corner of my room, his laptop next to mine on the desk, making the study table looked more crowded,his toiletries at my side of the sink, are now gone.

I miss him already..I really do.
I love you sayang!
I should get some sleep now..
Im realllyyy sleepy... ~zZzZz~

Being me

2008-07-12T23:08:00.002+10:00

Sometimes you can't help it from feeling insecure, vulnerable. It is not easy to open up to others and let others see you right through you, past your flaws and accepting you for being just you. Some say i think too much, but what if some of the thoughts and all the thinkings are indeed necessary? Sometimes being trapped in your own perfect world, where you live in denial aint gonna help you. People might think I always feel better when I share my feelings and thoughts with others whenever there are things which are bothering me, but the truth is , it doesnt always work like that.

I don't know...maybe it just me..being paranoid.
Im sorry.
I know you guys hate it when I think too much.
But I can't help it.
Its just me being ME.

Proud to be a Queenslander.

2008-07-04T20:23:00.002+10:00

Yes Tasia, QLD rocks!
We're better than Vic & WA! Padan muka dieorg! lol.
And to NSW, you guys deserved to win, but we'll beat you guys next year :D

QUEENSLAND ROCKS!!!

2008-07-04T19:09:00.006+10:00

QUEENSLAND, WE ARE PROUD OF YOU!!!.

MASCA was great!!! The event was a success. gosh we won second place overall.NSW only beat us by 9 points!!! only 9 freaking points!!! AH! Never mind,there's always next year!!! So Queenslanders make sure we win next year MASCA!!! hehehe. Oh well, look at the bright side, we beat VIC!!! That's the most important thing!!! They thought they beat us but WE BEAT YOU GUYS, LOSERS!!!(:P)

thats all I have for u guys!!!

till then

bye
chio
see ya
one thing for sure "dont wanna be ya"

xoxo

bla bla bla

2008-06-27T22:10:00.002+10:00

Exams over. Euro 08 is over for me too. Now what? I have nothing to look forward to (unlike some ppl yg temannya semua dtg melawat..hmmph)
Oh ya, I just moved in to a new place. About 3 weeks ago. But the house is still in a mess since we were having exams and stuff. So now I guess I gotta unpack my stuffs and start "decorating" the house and of coz my room.hehe. And yay my mom's coming soon! wohooo! But I still do miss home though, my annoying bro and sis, abah and mama, just miss home!!! haih... And yeah I do miss you too Ronny, pls dont leave. bye!

Close your eyes

2008-06-26T02:01:00.001+10:00

3 more sleeps and he'll be here...... Yeay...

Current mood : - EXCITED & HAPPY!! =)

Update

2008-06-22T23:39:00.002+10:00

Finally me n laili got our own place...Woooohoooo!! Exams done..Wootttttttt!!!! My boo is coming...triple gazillion wooooohoooo... LOL =P

Geee.... For the first time I have NO idea wut to write about..huhuhuhu... I guess Im just super duper excited that now, 5 more days to go je before my other half gonna be here! ( Come on peeps give me a break here to be cheesy a.k.a jiwang for a bit! LOL)

Take care peeps... Have a good break...will keep u guys updated!

Emilia's current Mood : Happy! =)

You never know what you have till it's gone..

2008-06-05T23:06:00.002+10:00

It is true when they say life is short. We often hear ourselves telling each other, " Dont worry, there's always tomorrow/ its ok we can do it tomorrow"...What if there's no tomorrow? What if today is the only day you have? What would u do? Would you do things any different? I don't know.... If you know how much time left you have on earth, would you have taken life more seriously? Have more love than hate in your life?

These are just thoughts:-

We indeed had wander around fiction to look for the truth..
Sometimes, we buried ourselves beneath all the lies.
We really wanna know who we really are behind those eyes
but sometimes we cant help ourselves from feeling lost. Empty.
Dont give up on yourself.
Just be who you are,
Live like you mean it,
Love till you feel it.
Have more faith and believe.
It's all we need in our lives.
Hold on to them before its too late.

Living in this big world can be lonely sometimes, but you know the fact is you are not.
You can find comfort, joy, motivation in all sort of ways..
Don't worry...Its normal...
Even I'm still wondering...
Where would I go when I'm lonely?

Hype Night

2008-05-27T00:14:00.005+10:00

Hype Night is an informal, fun & totally entertaining event organised by MDH Studios (Mad Dance House). This is our first time performing, so if you wanna come and support us, you are welcome to do so! hehehhe... These are the details :

Date: 31st May 08
Time: 7pm & 9pm
Venue: MDH Studios, Level 2/4 99 Elizabeth St Brisbane CBD.
Price: $5 Student / $7 Adult ( tickets available online or at the door)
Site: www.maddance.com.au

There are 2 shows, one at 7pm and the other one is at 9pm. One show will be running for approx 1hr-1hr 30 mins. So choose which ever show that suits you. Nak dtg dua2 pon boleh je. hehe..

P/S: If you do come, hmm...I would like to inform you, dont put high expectations on us, as the 3 of us just joined this course...So we're just gonna do it for fun, nothing serious :) maksudnye...jgn expect kiteorg menari power gile la...lol

Hope to see you there!!

Only we know...

2008-05-24T21:52:00.005+10:00

Putting on a brave face aint easy.Thats for sure.There are times when you just feel like the whole world is going against you and you are just this little girl in this big world wandering around searching for answers. Sometimes, we have to realise that there are certain things you just have to face. Just have to face the fact of life.

I am still this little girl. Not lost, but still loking for her path, wanting to be discovered. Hoping that someday someone will look past her flaws and accept her for who she is. When you can be yourself when you are around that special someone it feels great. When the little things about you just mesmerize him,feels amazing. It makes you feel special, to know that you actually mean something to other soul.

Life indeed has a twist. It is definitely a rolercoaster ride. It has and it will always be. It is true when they say you cant have everything you want, and everything you want is not everything you need. But sometimes, you just don't know what you want and what exactly that you need. That's when you have to believe in fate and hope. People can be very ignorant at times. Refuse to look at the bright side of life, rather willing to dwell on the sad side of life. Discover yourself people. Enjoy the gift of happiness..It comes in many ways, just remember to enjoy it and flash the pretty smile of yours. Coz you never know who will fall for your smile baby! =P

If you feel like you still have heaps to learn about yourself, about the world around you, about love, life... Go on and discover them. Don't hesitate. You deserve to know and you deserve all the happiness in the world. Coz I know I do. Im trying to discover, hoping to get discovered, and if I'm lucky..I might just have been discovered. By you... You who can look past my flaws and accept me just for being me.

=)

2008-05-22T08:44:00.002+10:00

OMGGG!!!!! Tears of joy!!!
Thats all I can say for now!!
And yes Im gonna wear my jersey to class today :D

Answers

2008-05-18T18:56:00.009+10:00

#Thought of The Day#

"We tend to come up with millions and millions of questions. Are all this out of curiousities? Fears? Insecurities? What is it? Maybe its just a human thing that we want to know everything. To be good in everything, to be perfect. You know how they say ignorance is bliss? Then again, don't you guys think that we all deserve the truth? Eventhough how hurtful it can be at times? Lie is a powerful tool to tear someone down. It makes you feel stupid and lose faith in other souls and everything around you...It just aint fair.. "

Don't worry about me peeps!! Its just a thought for the day..nothing personal!! So just CHILL!! LOL..Well, I'm fine...Just being me.. Current Mood:- HAPPY!! LOL...and feeling abit of STRESS as finals is just around the corner people!! *Sigh* mmm... Have you ever wonder, is it possible to find happiness if its like million miles away from where you are. It's amazing how human connection can change the way you see things, how it can make you believe in something you never thought it would ever be possible, how it can restore your faith in your judgments and feelings again. Most of all, how it can make you feel good in your own skin, make you feel proud of being you.. Just you... Trust me, the next time around will be better and might be the sweetest.. (Lets all hope) =)

I'm a girl full of questions

Will you be the one to be the answers to my curiousities, insecurities, fears, joy?

Be the one who can afford what I worth, when others can't? Just like you said..

I don't have the answers.

You do..

I hope. I believe.

2008-05-17T18:45:00.000+10:00

PFA Player of the Year
Football Writers' Player of the Year
Sir Matt Busby Player of the Year
United Players' Player of the Year
United Goal of the Season (Portsmouth)
Barclays Player of the Season
Barclays Golden Boot
Barclays Merit Prize

Tak kisah org nak ckp ape pasal die (tgh geram with someone's post ckp die diver!).. he deserves all of it (the awards), and you know it too (I know you do).
Sorry if I talk too much about football or Ronaldo, but thats what excites me..yeah maybe coz my life isn't that interesting. But oh well, wtv, thats what I enjoy writing about. Hmm..malam2 weekendku would be dull for these upcoming months! sigh! Ok bye!

Goal of the season.

2008-05-13T21:47:00.003+10:00

Man Utd v Portsmouth

P/S: Buzz off la Madrid, he's at the right club.

Champs again!!

2008-05-12T13:11:00.022+10:00

Sir Alex Ferguson winning his 10th Barclays Premier League title.

Manchester United wrapped up the Barclays Premier League '07/'08 title with a thrilling win at Wigan last night. Victory at the JJB Stadium finally gave the club's 17th league championship crown, with a brillian spot kick from Ronaldo and another goal by Ryan Giggs. There had been ups and downs through out the season, no doubt the pressure was high, but with the effort of every player in the squad, they truly deserve it. They definitely are worthy champions!!

Now, we shall meet again in Moscow, and I really believe we're gonna get it
because the team deserves it.

Wohoooooooo!!

<3

2008-05-05T17:46:00.006+10:00

These are the friends I would like to keep :D

Fiction or Fact?

2008-05-05T14:50:00.005+10:00

All of us can't run away from the feeling of guilt, feeling obliged to please or make others happy before yourself. It is one of human's unselfish acts. But sometimes, being selfish is what you need to be. At one point, you have to stop all the pleasings, giving ins, putting on a happy face etc.. and dont scared to just be yourself and stop feeling like everything is your fault when shit happens because they arent! Always remember that you are special in your own way, IF they think you are ugly, just remember they are too! Don't let those shallow thoughts and heartless acts pull you down, because I know you are capable of picking yourself up again.. It hurts me to see them hurt you as I only an outsider who can do this much, being there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on, and a bitching mouth when you need some boost in your courage to fight for your rights and make you feel better ! LOL! I love you T!! n You'll be fine..

hmmm.... =) ... Life is indeed a roller-coaster ride.. One day you can be the saddest person on earth, and another day you can be so content and calm. Its weird how things work out to be.. Is it true when they say the best thing in life comes when you least expect it? That, for me, is yet to be proven.. In fact, things which will be happening in this coming days, months hopefully will open up my eyes to the possibilities than I once thought would be impossible..Lets see how life takes its' twist..

Ended with lesser $$$

2008-05-05T00:19:00.006+10:00

At last, our long awaited retail therapy to DFO finally came true!! Myself,Emy,Jerry & Anas, went out the whole day today to do some shopping spree. Ahhhh rasa puas gilaaaaa...eventhough I told myself so many times, "ok this is the last time, no more shopping for you". Takpe, rasa guilty ni kejap je..lepas ni mesti ade lagi..huhu..oh well, girls will be girls.(But still laili you're so boros la, didn't u realize that?)
Anyway, I still haven't got what I wanted to buy in the first place (biase la, cari benda lain, beli benda lain). Bought a few bottoms, shoes, smiggle pencil case etc annnnndddd lastly a fake mimco bag!! hahahha...but still totaled to AUD 50..so quite okay kan. takdela fake sgt. (ceh, trying to make myself feel better..huhu).

So now, seriously Laili, no more going out and relaxing as if you're so free! You're having your final exams in just about a month from now! Jgn nak enjoy je keje, ingat you're here under FAMA.
You gotta push yourself a little harder to achieve what you want. Okok, sorry, was talking to myself a little just now didn't I.heh.

Well, thats basically all that happened during my weekend. Not forgetting, Man Utd won last nite 4-1 against West Ham. Thanks to Ronaldo,Tevez & Carrick. Brilliant goals from them. Now we're just 3 points away from retaining the Premier League title. wuhooooo!! Of course, with the help of Newcastle trashing Chelsea tmrw...heee.

Okay, enough of football bak kata Tasia and Emy.
Im off to bed now, sleepy & tired, nasib baik esok cuti.

Till then,
I'll keep you updated soon!

What If?

2008-05-02T21:38:00.004+10:00

Some say distance is a factor..Well, I'm not really sure myself..There are times that I have no faith in long-distance at all, but there are times when I would stop n think...What If Im wrong? What If thats how things should be? What If your heart belongs to someone across the other part of the world and that someone could make u happy? There are so many possibilities in the world. Like i said before, this big world is full of uncertainty. But I guess, thats just how things are...Sometimes, you just have to let things happen..You never know what might come your way..Good or bad..it all happens for a reason.. and Im still holding on to it..
But again...Sometimes, you just choose not to believe in what you already know, just because you want to wait for something or someone to take your doubts away and make you believe in it...

Would you be that someone?
I want to believe again..

Make a wish

2008-04-30T01:28:00.002+10:00

Make a wish and place it in your heart,
Anything you want,
Everything you want,
Do you have it?
Good.

Now, believe that it will come true.
You never know when the next miracle gonna come from the next smile,
the next wish can come true.
But if you believe if it is right aroud the corner,
and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it,
to the certainty of it,
You just might get the thing you're wishing for

The world is full of magic,
You just have to believe in it,
So make your wish.
Now believe in it..
With all your heart.

cagna

2008-04-29T23:37:00.004+10:00

Bitch?!Interesting topic huh???!!!

Oh well I guess some peeps need some bitchness in them.Give me a break!!!Most girls are just borned with it.They act as if the whole world cares!!!Frankly speaking I hate bitches but I also hate to admit that I can be BITCHY sometimes.{hey!!!dont blame me, I grew up with _____ all my life} Oooppppsss!!!

Is not wrong to be a bitch sometimes but REMEMBER never ever go over board!!!{sigh}

So!Wuts SSSOOO great being a bitch???!!!{u always get wut u want!!!}hehehe...Dont get me wrong but they do get wut they want,which is the best thing of all!!!:p

Actually the term bitch is used to described as an offensive term for a woman, taken to mean that she is malicious, spiteful, domineering, intrusive, or unpleasant .Nowadays the word BITCH does not considered as a harsh word anymore cause most peeps used it frequently.LAMEO!!!WTV LOSER!!!{dedicate to M cause he often calls me that)

Let me ask u this???!!!WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES!!!

#if u give him a feeling of power ,he'll want to protect u and he'll want to give u the world

#men don't respond to words.they respond to no contact

#men respect women who communicate in a succinct way because it's the language men use to

talk to one another

#negative attention is still attention{bitches are gud at it}

#finally bitches do have dignity because that is the most attractive quality of all.

adapt from "why men love bitches"-sherry argov

Wanna know whether u're a bitch,try this quiz:-

http://www.getlippy.com/play/quizzes/bitchquiz/

*Btw Im only 52% bitchy-BITCH IN TRAINING;)

#Well, you’re a prickly little missy aren’t you? I think we all need to remember not to get on your bad side and to keep a watch on you at all times. You have your good points though, and you probably wouldn’t kick a poor defenceless puppy dog – unless it looked at you the wrong way.

p/s:Remember,is not wrong to be a bitch!!!hehehe...:p

bye

chio

see ya

one thing for sure"dont wanna be ya"

xoxo

The boy who had a dream...

2008-04-28T11:33:00.006+10:00

United no.7,Cristiano Ronaldo won PFA player of the year for the second successive season.
Not a surprised for me and for all of you (just admit it hehe).
Ahead of Liverpool duo Fernando Torres and Steven Gerrard, Arsenal pair Cesc Fabregas and Emmanuel Adebayor and Portsmouth goalkeeper David James, who were all shortlisted for the award, none stand a chance to stroll pass the Portuguese star.
With an incredible tally of 38 goals so far this season (EPL 28, CL 7,FA Cup 3),no wonder the winger was voted top performer in English football.
Thanks to his fellow team mates as well who helped him achieved what he's achieving at the moment, and without all these talented players, Man Utd wont be where it is now.
No offence to those who dislike him and had always criticized him, now put it in your face ppl! hehehe.
It's sad that these ppl are just too stubborn to admit what 's obvious.
(How can u say "tu goal nasib je" for every goal he scored?)
But oh well, utterly speaking, this is definitely not the end of Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro.
More to come from this wonder boy :D

Random

2008-04-24T23:15:00.008+10:00

Take your hesitance
And your self-defense
Leave them behind, it's only life
Don't be so afraid
Of facing everyday
Just take your time, it's only life

It's like a splash of water to my face
When I realize
That you didn't find a place
For me in your eyes
Now you don't care I'm alive
How did we let the fire die

Don't know if it was a fiction or fact?
If everything was based on truth or lie?
If it was all a lie
Then I'm done
Letting you unnerve me
Fool me once shame on you, twice shame on me...

Was afraid the truth will hurt me
When it was you who hurt me more
You think you've won?
Misread my vulnerability
But for once,
the TRUTH is I'm glad.
Glad that He showed me the way.
Gave me strength to be sane again.
Denial sucks facing the truth is the cure.

But the worst thing of all,
I'm trying to hate you but I can't, not a bit.not at all....
and Hey you...
I am happy for myself...and happy for you If this path makes you happy....

xoxo

Ordinary

2008-04-22T16:52:00.002+10:00

In life you can't run from uncertainty. Uncertainty..that's one of the things that I fear,but then again thats just part of living. Have you ever wonder why some people do things certain way? Why they tell certain lie but yet can still get away with things? How people can go to sleep at night after crushing a pure soul? How people can take others for granted when they trusted them with their deepest secret? How can some people just sail away without wondering how the other is doing after a great fall? Is it just me.... or is that just how life is??
Some may think to let them all out is the best...
Some say chin up and just walk away...
Some say its not the end of the world..just be happy!
One owes many thanks to many people...who were there to pick her up when she fell soo hard on the ground..and who are still there and will always be there for her.. Thank you..
But, she knows that it has to start from her.She is a big girl after all..She will be alright..and YOU know that..

Remember peeps... " Two wrongs dont make A right".

Pass by memory lane.

2008-04-22T02:03:00.006+10:00

On Tues morning, S spotted smiling receiving something from B.
Been waiting for it.
As much as she liked it, there's a part of her still in doubt.
Made her wonder....
Why people do certain things in certain ways.
Why their words unlike their actions.
Why people lie and still be able to put on an instant face.
How can you speak concerning something without knowing what it implies.
I guess certain things are better left unsaid, better left unknown.
And I guess you're gonna have to live with that, with unsettled thoughts lingering on your mind, always.
But who is S and who is B? That's one secret I'll never tell.

P/S: Happy 21st Birthday again Anas!

Il mio fine settimana è stato terribile!!!

2008-04-22T01:20:00.004+10:00

Gosh!!!I can be super pathetic sometimes...I just hate myself cuz Im not gud at anything at all!!!wth?!wtf?!eeeeeeeeeeeee......................feel like killing myself!!!ok2 wtv!!!like I give a damn abt myself la kan?!!!{sigh}

so wuts been happening for the pass 3 wonderful days of my lovely life?!wanna know???hehehe...not much!been so called "busy" with QSC.hehehe....the funny part is Im not even involved pon. The truth is I dont play sports cuz I just dont!!!and peeps plz dont ask me the same ques over n over again cuz the answer is I JUST DONT!!!=p Sports is just not my thing...can u imagine me playing sports?! I bet u cant!!! Besides then QSC, I guess nuthin much I did over the weekend.Oh yeah, I forgot Anas's 21st Birthday!!! We went out for dinner and coffee!!!We did have fun although it was a last minute thingy!!!hehehe...see the best part of all kan we all agak spontaneous...;) so wth?!go with the flow!!!Btw HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANAS!!!

Goss of the week and for the next million years is Im in love with a guy named ED WESTWICK!!!{hell yessssssssss!!!}

bye

chio

see ya

one thing for sure "dont wanna be ya!"

xoxo

2008-04-19T22:50:00.003+10:00

Today was a tiring day.. enough said.
Im off to watch football now :D

P/S: What a stupid blog ay? Told ya Im not good at this.

# Blank #

2008-04-19T22:29:00.007+10:00

No words can really describe wut is going through my head, wut im feeling inside. I wish I could just let ALL out and then wish everything will be alrite when I wake up tomorrow. Wish it would be as easy as blinking an eye.No point playing Miss Nice when at the end of the day u will always getting the shit.

Usually im very good in expressing what im feeling inside.But not today.Not on the day when those angers and broken pieces need to be flush out..Out of all day..all feelings..WHY cant I let it out??!! I know what I feel, I know what my heart is telling me, but my body is too stunt n exhausted to do anything about it, to make myself feel better..aaarrrggghhhh!!! I wish I can really let u guys know how I really feel. Its like it hurts soo bad but I cant cry, im crushed till I cant open my mouth n scream..I just want it to go away...

it is not the end of the world, Shit happens. Its not worth it. dont be ashame to be urself. When one doesnt accept for who u are, its not ur lost, its his. Its not u who are not good enough for him, but its him who doesnt deserve you. Just have the guts and be open about it...sometimes, u have to learn to GROW UP and clean up ur mess!

Newbiesss

2008-04-18T11:53:00.001+10:00

Hellooo people..

Im still new at this..updating my day-to-day routines and telling people what's going on in my life.
I dont usually do that.
BUT I'll try, I mean thats the whole point of doing this blog.
So just bare with me :D

# First #

2008-04-18T11:43:00.000+10:00

Aloha bloggers...

Its cool how u can share ur thoughts with the rest of the world ( that's IF someone does read ur blog), u know at least u know that u r not entirely ALONE drowning with emotional breakdowns and dealing with people who drives u INSANE!!! *sigh*

Trust me living in this crazy world, everything is unpredictable. Sometimes, when you believe too much in Karma, it will be dissapointing when u realise it is not entirely true, when good things dont happen to good people. Eventually all of us will somehow be a fool in something we do no matter how hard we try to be right n perfect. Sometimes, when we try soo hard to make other people happy, we tend to forget to make OURSELVES happy..If we cant trust ourselves to make us happy, how can we trust others to make us happy?

Benvenuto

2008-04-17T19:41:00.001+10:00

hey peeps!
welcome and feel free to read our blog!!!which took us three freaking weeks to decide whether to write about our "happening life!!!"{LOL} yeah rite!!!:p
frm hot goss to personal issues,you peeps will get the new scoop!!(jk)

bye
chio
see ya
one thing for sure "dont wanna be ya!"
xoxo