Life in technicolor ba

I did what I had to do. Or else I'll be lying to him and to myself.
I gave my solid reasons, and if my heart's just not in it, why should I carry on?
It hurts hearing his bitter words, but Im staying strong and wont let 'em bring me down.
At least now I know I made the right decision.
Time is so short and Im pretty sure there must be something more for me out there.
Im keeping my head up high *cheers everyone*
:D

??????

Control freak or not.... I dont know whats wrong of being thoughtful.... Is it just me that think too much about others, or is it normal to include ur other half in wutever u are doing...or am i just another FREAK??? sometimes I dont know what to do..why is it thinking about others seems so bad..I would feel good at first, then feel soo awfully shitty the next time when someone point it out that it is not a wise move!!!

Really, what do you want??!!!!
Tell me, because it seems like im such an idiot now!!

Strangest thing was waiting for that bell to ring.

Hold on to it while you still can.
Dont let go.
Coz once you do, you'll miss it.
And you'll realize that you've been running in circles after all this while.

Aihh...I've been missing you a lot lately.
I wish that one day you would look my way.
Just a simple hello would put a smile on my face.
Yes it would.

Now Im just afraid to let someone new in.
Afraid that somehow I might, again, fall into that "trap" everyone's been bragging about.
It sucks to be me right now.
I know nobody said it was easy, but no one ever said it was this hard.

So the thing is, what am I supposed to hold on to now?
Could you tell me something worth fighting for?
Coz I'm completely blank at this moment...
Somehow I feel so alone..

Lais.

I'm Amazed

I can be difficult at times... AS for now, all the time. Unpredictable mood swings - im sick of blaming it on PMS! I hate to admit it that I have been rather mean and irrational. To be the person taking them, and just put up with moody me, takes some kind of patience. It can't be just any guy. I know, that doesn't give me the right to treat you that way. You have to admit, that's not all to me there is. I mean, I am NOT the moody girl all through the time when we are together. There are more to me....more pleasant side of me.

I'm amaze and thankful that you are still here, accepting me at being the ugliest i can be.
And I love you for that...

I'm sorry.

"The Bubble"

Was looking through some pictures of some people that I care dearly. I miss all of them n those old days when they were basically there day n night whenever I need someone to pick me up when my dreams were crushed, or just to share a silly joke with me. whenever I needed to see them all I had to do was just wait at the famous "tangga kejayaan" or locker area and there they were,waiting for me. It's odd, how back then I couldn't wait to step out of the bubble, and hoping time can just pass abit faster. Eager to see what lies ahead for me out here. Is not that I dont like it "here", it's just that it feels different. I guess it took me 4 years to realise, its them who make me feel complete. It sucks when they are not actually convinced that I care n they matter, when the truth is I will do anything for them. Since im far away, there's nothing much I can do,can't I?

But sometimes I just wish, its not a one way street. I wish I wasnt the only who needs to show the effort of keeping them close. And i also wish they wont come to me ONLY when trouble strikes them. Yes, I will still be here for u if trouble is ur current friend. but, it would be nice to just want me because you just want me. because you are thinking of me dearly.

I love you guys. All of you. I know, this is part of growing up. Part of life outside the "bubble". I get it. ..

Lost

Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I will cross

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I've tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh and I'm just waiting for the shine wears off

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
Cause along may come
A bigger one
And you'll be lost

Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ooh and I'm just wanting till the firing starts
Ooh and I'm just waiting till the shine wears off

Ooh and I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh and I'm just waiting till the shine wears off

xoxo
love u peeps always
see ya one thing for sure "dont wanna be ya"

It's A Cycle and I'm Miss Sensitive...

I know It's just how life goes...You have to deal with changes... I know everything takes time..I know you can't run away from the cycle of life...but it sucks to actually watch it happening and feeling helpless because you can't do anything about it. MAybe it's not big of a deal for some people, but me being the sensitive one feels like, if it's not big, at least it is a deal to me. It just feels weird in some ways.... Like for the first time it seems like I dont know them...that actually makes me feel that all these times I don't really belong there...

Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive about it... Maybe.... (due to the unstable hormones)
I know things will get better with time... I hope so...Things are all good at least that's how I want them to be...

Just giving it some time...

Besides facebooking...

Ok it's been a while.... been busy guys, sorry :)
So as u know, summer holidays is about to end, and Im going back to Brissy soon.
What have I been doing for the past 2+months here? Here's the list:

1. I did 1 subject in HELP uni. Just finished the final exam yesterday. Well I admit I didnt study at all for the paper. I barely went to classes. So don't ask me how was it. It's official I cant study here, too much distractions!

2. Keeping myself fit (konon la) by going to the gym.

3. Futsal every week.

4. Netball twice a week.

5. Zuwairi :)

6. Darus/AC almost everyday.

7. Shopped a lot!

8. Tried something new in Bangsar. hehe quiet Zuls!

9. A bit of everything here and there.

10. And 1 more thing, Im going to Langkawi this Wed, with a few friends. Just a few days getaway from Subang before I leave. Hope it'll be fun!


Love,
Laili.

Another New Year Another Beginning

My 2009... For starters (and which I feel is the BEST thing ever for now) NO MORE LDR for me in 2009 which is GREAT!!! Now I can share my days and mood swings closer to My Zekree... ( I bet Jerry,Ika, Tasia,Laili,Anas n G now be less bothered by me telling them how much I wish Zek was in Brisbane, I miss him..etc..huhuhuhu)

Mmm..I hope this year I will be able to do more travelling. Places Must TRY to go this year :-

1)Melbourne
2)Sydney
3)New Zealand
4) Cool places in Queensland

All in all..I hope 2009 will be better than 2008..hope I'll learn more about life... n try to be the best person I can be to myself, my family, my Zekree, my friends....

Here I come 2009... Watch out! :P

Just Crapping

I'm so happy because gossip girl is back!!! And yeah, Chuck is still the pain in the ass but wtv! he is still the one that Im in love with.lol...Peeps watch it! Its only 40mins of your precious time. Ok this week episode, hrmmm...quite sad but you know GG, theres always ups and downs like any other tv series.
Going back to KL tommorow morning. Well I'll be arriving arnd 3ish KL time. (sigh). "KL HERE I COME!"
okla Im super tired and totally sleepy. hehehe...
nite nite!

see ya but one thing for sure dont wanna be ya
xoxo
take care